old hill

hey
unremarkable
old hill
you held witness
in the black
to my darkest hour
almost
but not quite
not the guts
nor the courage
or was it my highest
achievement
filled with
plenty of guts
and shit loads of courage
to brake before you
I don’t know
I don’t
but old hill
maybe
you do
maybe you know
the bad of loneliness
and the good
occasionally
I pass by
in daylight
and wonder about
the ifs
sometimes
I cry
not loud and hard
but quiet
with little shakes
from the memory
other times
I grin to the world
I still fuck in
breathe in
pant in
eat in
drink too much in
get high in
walk in
yell in
wonder in
get pissed at in
scream in
laugh in
sizzle butter in
feel hail sting my bare back in
the way it
has penciled out
is okay at worst
pretty good at best
but coming from the
primordial ooze
we crawled out of
pretty good is
damn fucking good
because no friend
of mine
has ever crawled back in
so
old hill
you remind me
of life
and I’m grateful
knowing
you will be there
when I’m gone
and maybe lay witness
to another
at that moment
when an anchor
in this blackness
is needed
more than anyone
can know
as they drink
coffee
buzzing by
an unremarkable
old hill
filled with power
to give so much
and take so much